Category Archives: Personal stories

Favorite Things

Brown paper packages tied up with string are still okay with me, but one of my current “favorite things” that trumps them all by far is the joy I get when someone sees Old Fashioned and makes a connection I never dreamed of…

I especially love it when the person connecting the dots is a part of the rapidly expanding creative and marketing team for our “little indie movie that could.”  It’s remarkably encouraging to know that the film genuinely resonates with those that are out there on the front lines for us.  That makes a big, big difference.

Enter Laura.

Now, I’ve never met Laura… we’ve swapped some messages back and forth, but that’s about it.  She is part of our outreach team and has been very kind in letting me know just how much she personally believes in Old Fashioned and wants to see it have a big impact.  She can hardly wait for Valentine’s Day weekend to get here…

Neither can the rest of us!  Who likes to wait?  For anything, ever.

Conspicuously right now, at Christmastime.  In line.  At the store.

Truth is, it seems like the Christmas season strains our patience and makes the waiting for anything seem worse than at almost any other time of the year… and it got Laura thinking about the irony found in that reality.

About how much the Christmas story actually is about… waiting.  And how that, in a way, connects with the themes of Old Fashioned.

She shared her thoughts on this with our team and it was so profound and beautiful, we just felt compelled to pass it along…

Some of the best parts of the Christmas story are about waiting:

… for the birth of Christ.  Israel had waited 400 years to hear from God.

… Mary waited to see how God would provide.

… Joseph was patient and didn’t make a hasty decision to divorce Mary.

… the shepherds were watching and waiting.

… the wise men were patient enough to make a very long journey to meet the Christ child.

What if any or all of the above simply got tired of waiting?  What if they had demanded immediate gratification?

Christmas is indeed (ironically) a great time to consider the idea of waiting (just think about that when you can’t find a parking spot at the mall).

And here is where Laura makes the connection…

Waiting is Old Fashioned.  But waiting is GOOD.  My humble opinion is that Christmas is a unique time to spread the message of focusing on what is best vs. what seems immediate—an Old Fashioned idea in our consumer culture that has exacerbated the problem of using people instead of nurturing them and nurturing relationships.

There’s no question, the theme of waiting is pretty strong in our love story.  On the physical, emotional, and spiritual levels… taking your time, being thoughtful, and considering the cost are all qualities that are affirmed in Old Fashioned.  Although there are no guarantees in life, it is undeniable that waiting and being patient can lead to real blessing.

So, in the rush of the presents and parties and family and friends (all good things)… if you feel yourself losing patience, feeling rushed… slow down a bit… remember how waiting played into the very first Christmas…

Most of all, remember how patient God has been with you.  With all of us.  O, if only we could be that way with each other… especially in this season of honoring the birth of the babe in a manger.

And, if by chance, you find yourself alone this year… waiting.  May there be at least some comfort in knowing that you have some good historical company; and, may God grant you the patience and courage you need to endure…

Thank you so much for the perspective, Laura.  For my new favorite thing.

And with that…

“Merry Christmas to all and to all a good-night!”

– Rik

 

The Artist as Missionary

Do you have a story from your life that you share often?  One of those personal life experience kind of stories that eventually becomes so much a part of you it seems it’s no longer merely a story you tell others… it’s something far more mystical and magical; it’s a story that is actually telling you, shaping you, guiding you…

This is one of my stories; one that has a hold on me like that.  I tell it a lot, but I’ve never written it down.  The events are true, I was there… and I haven’t been the same since.

After the screening of one of my films at a Christian college in the Midwest, a young student with tears in her eyes approached me.  She told me how she believed God was calling her to be an actress.  I’m sometimes skeptical at statements like this… but she was convincing. I listened.  She shared with great detail and passion her desire to honor God through the craft of acting and then her voice faltered, disappearing into a whisper.

“But,” she said.

“Stop,” I interrupted.  “Let me guess… your parents…”  She nodded.  “They told you not to go into acting because there’s no money it.”  Her eyes widened as she nodded again.  “They also told you that Hollywood is a dark and evil place and if you go there something bad might happen to you.”  She nodded one last time and lowered her head.

I wasn’t being prophetic; it’s just that I’d already heard all the arguments against the entertainment industry.  A hundred times.  But this moment was different.  With her hopeful eyes looking to me for some kind of answer and my own words still echoing all around me… it happened.  Epiphany.  Clarity.  God opened my eyes to the obvious.

The artist as missionary.

What if, hundreds of years ago, the church had told potential missionaries, “Don’t do it.  There’s no money in it.  Besides, you might have to go to far away places where bad things might happen to you.”  What a tragic loss that would have been.  Yes, many died penniless.  Yes, some even died tragic deaths in far away places.  And the world was changed because of them.  Is the cause of Christ no longer worth the risk?  What is His story telling… how is His story shaping… where is His story guiding?

We are all missionaries, in a sense.  And the truth remains, the only safe place to be is where Christ calls; it doesn’t matter if you’re a nurse, preacher, tentmaker, writer, or even… an actor.

– Rik

* An edited version of this blog post originally appeared in The Columbia Union Visitor in December 2007.

 

Love into Greatness

Did you ever wonder why so many of the world’s most talented and famous singers—in all kinds of genres—grew up singing in churches?

I don’t think it’s a coincidence… and I don’t think those singers can take all the credit for their success.

In part, they were loved into greatness.

It’s true, God-given talent can be spotted from a very young age; but, my guess is that not all of those singers were drop-dead amazing and 100% pitch perfect the very first time they sang a solo at church.  The raw talent may have been there… but it needed to be nurtured.

And it was.  By congregations that applauded them and showered them with praise and encouragement not only for the performance… but also because of the potential that was there.  Those congregations didn’t sit back, fold their arms, and say, “Impress us, kid.”  They did the exact opposite… they took an active role in helping that kid blossom into a greater talent than ever could have been possible without that kind of love and support.

It reminds me of a story I heard once about a church congregation looking for a new pastor.  They kept getting all these top-notch resumes from rock star preachers, but passed on them all.  Finally, they extended an audition/invite to a younger, beginning preacher that was rough around the edges but had genuine potential.  The church gave him the job.  Someone asked one of the elders why the church passed on so many great preachers and offered the job to someone with so little experience…

The elder replied, “Those other preachers are already great.  We’d rather have the kid that could go either way and help ensure that he becomes great.  That’s our job.”

They saw it as their mission to love into greatness.  Beautiful.

So… what’s any of this got to do with Old Fashioned or filmmaking?

I’ve been pretty blessed and lucky in my filmmaking journey.  Many of my earlier films have done rather well on the festival circuit, received distribution deals, and earned some decent reviews.  And, even though I’ve also dealt with my fair share of criticism (like all filmmakers)… by and large, I’ve been on the receiving end of above average encouragement, kudos, and support.

That’s not true for everybody.  Especially for a lot of young filmmakers just now starting out…

We are in the midst of a mini-explosion of “faith-based” films (I’m on a mission to dream up another genre description for this)… and a lot of these young filmmakers just beginning their journeys are taking an absolute beating.  To say they are not being loved into greatness would be a gross understatement.

Now, again, I would never defend any hack charlatans that are making quickie films to cash in on a niche… or those that really don’t love cinema and aren’t genuinely working as hard as they can to make the best films they possibly can.  But the truth is, I really don’t know many filmmakers like that, personally.  Most of the folks I know want to make solid, entertaining films… and are committed to finding ways to make the exploration of spiritual themes more organic and authentic in their work.

But alas, many of the most talented filmmakers I’ve met along the way are no longer making films.  They were crushed, mercilessly, over and over for not making Citizen Kane right out of the gate and simply decided it just wasn’t worth it any more.

I can hear it already: “Well, they didn’t want it bad enough.  Too bad.  Toughen up.”  But, until you’ve been on the receiving end of unbridled, gleeful (often anonymous) criticism… no disrespect, but, you really don’t know what you’re talking about.

Maybe it’s because we live in such a media saturated age and we love talking about movies so much as a culture.  But, the chatter (even amongst “religious” or “spiritual” people) can be just plain brutal, especially in the Internet era.  And I wonder, what’s the point or goal of that?

As hard as it is to sing a solo in church… directing a film is infinitely more complicated, has way more moving parts, and many more things that can go wrong along the way.  And yet, I rarely see the concept of “love into greatness” applied to young filmmakers just starting out to the degree it is in other mediums.

And that’s a shame.  Like that church elder said, it is up to us to ensure that the kid that has the talent—but could go either way—becomes great, lives up to his or her potential.  Not beat them down because the effects in their first sci-fi short or indie feature don’t live up to the latest Star Wars film or superhero movie.

On that note, if you haven’t seen the very first films (shorts or features) of your favorite director, that might be worth doing.  With few exceptions, most of those films are far from perfect even though they do admittedly possess the spark and possibility of something better further down the road.  And many of the world’s greatest filmmakers owe their very careers to insightful critics who saw that potential and helped nurture it so it might survive and blossom (rather than kill it for not being fully formed right out of the gate).

To be clear, I’m in no way saying that there shouldn’t be film criticism… there definitely should be.  And I’m not saying we should settle for less than the pursuit of artistic excellence in “faith-based” filmmaking (or any other kind).  We shouldn’t.  But, what’s our end game?  The purpose of our critique?

There is a context for everything.  And it takes time to get great at anything.  Legend has it that Frank Capra (It’s a Wonderful Life) made more than 100 one-reelers (10-minute shorts) before his first full-length feature.  I’ve never seen his very first short, but… my guess is, it isn’t a home run.

As people of faith, we should be looking for ways to “love into greatness” whenever possible… that’s really all I’m trying to say here.  And that goes for all of life.  Not just for kids singing in church.  Not just for filmmakers.  For everyone…

My official two cents for the day…

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29)

– Rik

 

Finding Amber

Appearances

Elizabeth Ann Roberts is a star.

There, I said it.  And I believe it.  She plays the role of Amber Hewson in Old Fashioned and delivers the kind of breakout, career-defining performance that we all love to discover in small, indie films like ours.

And that’s just not me talking.  From Northampton, Massachusetts, to Temecula, California, to a whole bunch of other “sneak peek” and festival screenings in between… audiences agree with my bold claim above.  She provides the life and spark of Old Fashioned and simply makes you fall in love.  It’s magical, really.

Elizabeth Ann Roberts is something special and the rest of the world is about to find out and I can hardly wait.  But, the crazy thing is…

I almost didn’t cast her.

She was actually one of the very first actors that auditioned for the role of Amber.  I was already in Tuscarawas County, Ohio, scouting locations when one of our co-producers sent me video link to her casting session out in Los Angeles.

Her take on the character was extraordinary—even on a laptop; that was obvious.  When she read the lines “respect her emotions as well as her body” I choked up; my eyes began to water.  She was that good.

But in my mind, I always saw “Amber” with very dark brown hair and dark brown eyes.  And Elizabeth, though incredibly beautiful, didn’t line up 100% with what I had imagined.

So, I kept looking.  For six months.  I saw countless actresses with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes; they all looked the part, but they couldn’t hold a candle to Elizabeth.  Elizabeth simply was the character of Amber in a way that went far beyond physical appearance, in a way that was almost spiritual.

She got the gig, obviously.  What choice did I have?

And indeed, Elizabeth actually felt a very clear, personal connection with the strong, bold, and spiritually searching role of Amber.  There is sometimes an authenticity in a performance that simply can’t be faked… it’s a rare thing and it’s what exists between Elizabeth and her character in Old Fashioned.

It’s all a little ironic given that much of the story of Old Fashioned is actually about looking beyond the physical when it comes to love and romance.  There’s nothing wrong with physical attraction and chemistry, of course; but, it isn’t everything… no matter what Hollywood says.

Just like in casting a movie.  Just like in life.

We live in a world today that places ludicrous value on physical appearance.  Do six-pack abs really make someone a good potential spouse?  The perfect nose?  Just the right skin tone?  Will great physical chemistry be enough to weather the tough times that face any relationship?

Think about what we are being sold via music, film, TV, social media… think about what ideas are being affirmed, over and over, in young people.

Right now, Renée Zellweger, is being attacked and critiqued from all sides because of her plastic surgery that has made her virtually unrecognizable.  In some cases, she’s being ripped into by the very same folks that badgered her into feeling so insecure about her physical appearance to begin with.

I love movies.  Always have.  But I hate with a passion the pressure and unrealistic expectation, on women especially, for physical perfection that is spun and stoked by the entire entertainment industry.  It’s absolute insanity and it’s a lie and it’s now spreading far beyond the silver screen and into real life.  And when we buy into the “he’s so hot” and “she’s so hot” and and and… well, we’ve got no one to blame but ourselves.

Whatever makes you happy, I guess.  But our physical bodies are fading… no matter what.  It’s the Kobayashi Maru (yeah, I’m an old school Star Trek nerd, deal)… a no-win scenario.

I wonder what I’ve missed out on in my own life because I couldn’t, or wouldn’t, look beneath the surface of things.  Did I miss out on something God was trying to show me… or a connection that God was trying to make?  Have you?

I learned a valuable lesson in casting the role of Amber in Old Fashioned.  If I had stuck to the preconceived image in my mind, I would have made a tragic mistake and missed out on witnessing something remarkable… something far beyond merely the physical.

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.”

– Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Here’s to the things beneath the surface…

And, to Elizabeth Ann Roberts… thank you.

Cheers!

– Rik

 

“Good Movies Make You Care…”

MovieHealHeart

In my last post, I shared a couple of personal moments that planted some of the initial seeds of inspiration that many, many years later eventually bloomed into Old Fashioned.

Today, since I get asked the question a fair amount, I thought I’d follow up with what, specifically, led me to begin the creation of Old Fashioned, in earnest.

For those that are curious, here’s a little bit of “the why” beneath the surface…

DIRECTOR’S STATEMENT

My heart had lost its way and I was trying to remember the way home…

At its most stripped down, most transparent… that was the spark of inception that led to my writing and directing of the feature film Old Fashioned.

But the deeper inspiration came when I looked around and witnessed that I wasn’t alone, not by a long shot.  The landscape of singles I knew at the time (most in their 20s and 30s) was a romantic wasteland full of wounded and broken lovers hanging on by the thinnest of threads, but desperately wanting to still believe…

In love, in redemption, in the idea that some things are worth holding onto to, worth fighting for…

That respect and honor and integrity still had a place in this world…

That it wasn’t over for them, no matter what mistakes or bad choices or hurts called out to them from the past…

That there was, still, a chance they might find the safe place they were longing for.

It got me thinking about the wide variety of different approaches to dating and courtship… about what was good with the “American” way of approaching romantic relationships and what was lacking, at least from my perspective and experience.

What if a film aimed to take seriously the idea of love?  To do more than just give a wink and a nod to the prevailing ironic, casual, and sometimes even cynical approach to such things?  Do more than just hold up a mirror to the contemporary and obvious?  What if a film unabashedly affirmed the notion that perhaps these things have much more weight than current mores might often suggest; in profound and lasting ways, they matter.  What we say and how we treat each other, matters.  What we do with one another’s hearts, matters.

Pauline Kael once said that “good movies make you care, make you believe in possibilities again.”

Of course I believe that films should entertain; I believe that films should add to the discussion of ideas.  But my greatest hope and prayer for Old Fashioned is that it might do just what Pauline Kael said…

That it might help hearts in need of healing to believe in possibilities again… help hearts that have given up, to care again.

– Rik

 

The Unlikely Man Who Inspired ‘Old Fashioned’

With a movie that has a title like Old Fashioned—that features a storyline about an out-of-step, counter-cultural approach to modern love and romance—it’s to be expected that all manner of assumptions will be made about the background of the person creating such a thing.

Throw in the word “courtship” and that just takes it over the top.

As I mentioned in my last post, the online debate about courtship/dating I discovered had a lot of discussion and push-back offered by readers that were coming from backgrounds that were fairly sheltered, etc.

One might predictably conclude that is my background as well.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

I wasn’t homeschooled.  I didn’t grow up in a repressive or overly restrictive religious environment.  My parents didn’t buy me a chastity belt when I hit puberty.

Truth is, my moral compass was almost completely defined and shaped by American pop culture—music, movies, TV.  They peddled the goods, and I bought.  At the feet of Hollywood and rock gods I sat… and I learned.  I learned a lot of lessons that it took me years to unlearn, actually…

I was anything BUT Old Fashioned.

So much so, that when I first heard the two ideas that were the initial seeds that eventually grew into this movie and the two books and all the controversy… well, to me, those ideas were so new, so foreign that they almost sounded like they were from outer space or something.  To some of you, they still might.

What were they?

The first was inspired by a very famous evangelist who had made a pact with his ministry leaders that included the principle of none of them ever being alone with any woman that was not his wife—not at all, ever, period.  What?!?  Seriously?!?  It was no joke and it was a concept I had never even heard, let alone considered.  I’ll never know why exactly, but that kind of commitment to respect and honor stopped me in my tracks.  A seed was planted…

The other idea was based on the true story of a young couple that made the choice to not kiss until their wedding day.  Again, this was so far outside my box at the time I couldn’t even imagine people like that actually existed.  But for some reason, the story didn’t make me laugh or cringe… it pulled at my heart.  Against all odds, another seed was planted…

Now, I’m not claiming that I immediately began to apply both of those principles to my life at that very moment… or that I’ve lived them out perfectly, ever since.  Nor would I want to imply that those two novel ideas must be the definitive standard for everyone.

But, the love and wisdom behind both of those stories, those peculiar notions… in regard to being intentional, in making choices far in advance—long before any temptation might arise—there is something there that remains worthy of reflection.

And well over a decade after I first heard both of those stories, I would find the characters of Clay and Amber struggling with those very concepts—in very flawed and human ways—in my screenplay for Old Fashioned.  All because of seeds planted by someone simply sharing a story…

You have no idea of the difference YOUR story might have in the life of another.  Never underestimate how God might take even your scars and regrets and make them blossom into something beautiful.

– Rik

P.S. For the record, that “famous evangelist” was Billy Graham and the pact with his leadership was called “The Modesto Manifesto.”  I’ve never written about this before, nor personally shared my gratitude, officially.  Thank you, Reverend Graham.  Thank you…