“You know more after a job interview for delivering pizzas than you do after most dates.”
It’s one of the many, many reasons Clay has for isolating himself, not dating much at all in a long time, and not really even giving anyone a chance. Not even the radiant Amber, who comes into town like a breeze and now rents the apartment above his shop. And believe me, Amber is the kind of woman who deserves a chance!
Clay is a man of extremes, there’s no denying. He is in love with his own ideas to a fault—to the point of almost missing what might be his last chance at true love.
He has at least the makings of a point here.
When you think of the general level of conversation that happens early on in the dating process, it can be a little shallow and not reveal all that much about who someone is or what’s important to him or her.
On the other hand, job interviews do indeed often go deeper than… “What kind of music do you like?” or “Did you get that new iPhone app yet?”
For example (from actual job applications):
1. What irritates you about other people and how do you deal with it?
2. What kind of situations do you find stressful?
3. What are the steps you follow to study a problem before making a decision?
Admittedly, not very romantic.
Even so, it’s hard to not agree that the answers to even just those three questions alone might reveal quite a bit about someone. Possibly even more than staring into a brand new love interest’s eyes over a candlelit dinner might.
Physical chemistry (what most of early modern dating begins with) is great and exhilarating and fun, but ask anyone who’s been together for any time at all and they will tell you that “the magic” ebbs and flows. Nothing wrong with it per se, but it’s not everything.
Look, I know that dating (or courting or… whatever) isn’t a job interview; and, being a couple should never feel like an employee/employer relationship…
That said, the idea of being a little more intentional early on in a relationship is probably not a bad one… even if Clay might take it a little too far.
Just for fun, you can get a whole list of job interview questions here.
Or, for a more balanced approach to getting to know someone, you can check out some of the questions and experiences shared by Ginger Kolbaba in the official companion book to our film/novel, The Old Fashioned Way.
One final thing from the job interview process that also isn’t a bad idea to add to the dating mix as well…
References. Always get references :)…