I don’t really want to dive into that debate head-on, but I couldn’t help but make one small, general observation amidst all the diatribes that got me thinking along some very personal lines…
Made me reflect on some memories from my own life, some of which actually ended up being the first seeds planted that—many years later—fully blossomed and led me to write the screenplay for Old Fashioned.
First, the observation: In this current debate about courtship/dating, it seems to me that a lot of the strongest push-back is coming from folks that come from highly conservative, restrictive religious environments of one sort or another.
And that makes sense to me, especially in scenarios where young people didn’t necessarily make these decisions for themselves and/or attempted to do everything the “right” way and yet still find themselves alone or in a bad marriage or otherwise unsatisfied in their romantic lives.
When things don’t work out the way we want, we need to find a reason… someone or something to blame. In doing so, we often tend to demonize the familiar or naively romanticize other systems/lifestyles/cultures that—from the outside—seem to possess the greener pastures for which we are longing.
But there is no formula, no sure-fire perfect path to Utopia (in terms of temporal results). Not on this Earth.
That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t pursue the good and noble; we should. And that goes for all areas of our lives—not just romantic. But we should “do the right thing” for its own sake, not as some kind of bargain with God to ensure that everything works out for our ease and comfort as long as we make no serious mistakes.
The world is a mess and we aren’t in control of others or much at all, really. You can make all the best choices… live within the lines… never sin at all… and people can still hurt you. Bad things can still happen to you. Just ask Jesus.
To be a hero is to let virtue be its own reward. When it comes to affairs of the heart, this world needs a whole lot more heroes…
And I know for a fact that the “other side” (the one that isn’t restrictively religious, etc.) is no picnic, either… because that’s where I grew up. How that relates to the above and how it helped lead to the writing of Old Fashioned? Next time…